Things I swore I would never do

I know there are a million things that could be filed under this category, however this is one that I.Swore.I.Would.Never.Do. 

In fact, I had friends that did this, and I laughed at them saying they were nuts, how on earth could they possibly live like that. 

And yet, here I am, giving up milk products for my son.  And not only that, possibly abandoning an entire freezers worth of stored up milk, representing countless hours of being hooked up to a pumping system that relinquishes you to the status of a Holstein cow. 

I was suspicious Zack may have had a milk protein allergy early on when he was all of a sudden uncontrollably fussy at 3 weeks.  Phew, I thought when we put him on Zantac and to bed in his crib and he seemed to settle.  For at least a couple of months, he was sleeping at least for 7-9 hours at night without fail.  It was bliss.  I could work and sleep and pump and nurse and life was grand.

I don't know exactly what happened.  But everything fell apart.  There was one diaper with gross blood in it. Then there was this one week from hell, December 17 it all started.  Zack got sick and his eczema got worse.  Dry skin I thought.  I kept him glistening with all the Aquaphor.  He stopped sleeping through the night. He's stuffy I thought.  Put his bed upright again and the humidifier in his room.  Well, he was at least going back to sleep easily.  Then there was another diaper with gross blood in it.  And about 4 weeks later after still having to get up every 2-3 hrs at night, I was starting to have my doubts.

And now he has started to not want to go back to sleep at night.  He is perfect, happy, playful baby by day, and nightmare by night.  I am still holding out that it might not be the milk protein allergy, but after my friend Betsey's description of the "Ghostbusters slime-like poop" I feel it is almost certain.   So I am going to give it a solid two weeks of no milk, cheese, soy, etc to see.  No butter or anything made with butter.  No cream in the coffee.  Almond milk it is.  And now it seems that everything has all of those things in it.

And of course now I will take him getting up 2-3 times a night if it means he will go back to sleep. Mike of course wants to just sleep train him.  Fine.  I will check into a hotel for 3 nights because I just won't be able to listen to him scream.  Because this kid can scream.  And although I have probably told at least half of you to just let the kid cry it out, I am too much of a wimp to do it myself!  What a hyppocrite.

Cleary he suffers....